Friday, October 8, 2010

"Unfortunately, our fun conflicts with your fun"

Episode three or the one in which Vinny and Snooki "smoosh"... much to Brendan's relief.

I began this episode with querying where the eff is Snooki's boyfriend? Surely any man would not let his alcoholic girlfriend go to M.I.A. all by her lonesome. Where are the constant phone calls? The obsessive checking ins? Maybe Sammi's rubbing off on me but this shit in Denmark ain't right.  Luckily Emilio makes a reappearance towards the ends of the episode via phone call which Snooki end in knocking over a table, hanging up on him and snuggling with Vinny. To wit, while in bed Snooki delicately asks "Wanna fuck?" to which Vinny replies "Sure." Fathers in America you must be so proud.

On to the less fun characters. They all start working under the dictator Enzo at the Gelato shop. Gelato is what happens when Italians try to make ice cream. Actually, Enzo seems like a pretty sweet guy. Waaaaaaaay better than any of the other guys on this show (except Vinny - Brendan) but heaven forbid anyone have to do any work. So they make desperate attempts to play up comic moments. The only one that really works is when the Situation takes off his shirt and hangs around the front of the shop like a pedophile trying to entice Hansel and Gretal to come into his ginger bread house. ("which is the name for a red-head's box" - Brendan)

Sammi and Ron have united in one thing. For the first time in Brendan's life a woman groaned at the same time as him, but it was more in disgust at the antics on screen than anything else. So there. Also Ron gets so drunk at a club he tries to face-fuck her. Which she turns down. This is the first time we've seen Sammi show any semblance of back-bone so, y'know... there's that too. Then she goes home and cries. Which really shouldn't be as funny as it is.

Angelina continually asserts that she's the bigger person yet it takes the smallest person in the house pulling her aside (Snooki) and telling her she's not to be invited along to the nail shop or whatever the fuck it is they do.

The Situation has yet to prove his reason for being in this season.

To sum up my feelings on this episode I will quote from the book of Angelina "I'm like really like upset."

Alex's rating: 6 visible camera men out of 10
Brendan's rating: 5 tits inserts floating in the hot tub out of 10

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